He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
