at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
