You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
