I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just high enough for therapy.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
