Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
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