It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
