I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Randomize
