question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
