This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Randomize