I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Randomize
