you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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