i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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