erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Randomize
