i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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