I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
