BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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