Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm really busy with my period
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