tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
