im six kinds of drunk right now
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
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His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
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we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins