dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk