i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
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Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
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Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit