I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.