I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
