if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight