It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.