I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
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Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
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I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.