Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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