I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
