We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
sarcasm needs its own font
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Randomize
