i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
