so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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