I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
