my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
