I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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