I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
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While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
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My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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