Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
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