I'm really into asian looking animals
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
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