Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
