ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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