Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
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