he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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