Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
