M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
