I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
