My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
