im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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