so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Randomize
