Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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