I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
