So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Even my vagina gasped.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
