My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
