The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
