I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize