i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
