actually, I'm a sock model
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
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