ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
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