I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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