I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Your penis caused this!
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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