Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize