my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
cat food counts as protein by the way
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
