i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
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