think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
My feet surprised me
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
