We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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