I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize
