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I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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