There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
