Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
