WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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