I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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