I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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