If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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