dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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