I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
It's never too late to be topless.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
