i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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