saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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