She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
