It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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