yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
