and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
