I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Randomize
