id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
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Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
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I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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